Love this group and all its subscribers. I hope you can help me. In high school I was very fond of his classmate. We were young in a serious relationship with me he has not seen. In that moment, he just wanted to fuck. I refused him, because he knew that he still will not be with me. Then he said he’ll tell everyone what we had. And so I graduated with the stigma. By the way this wound wouldn’t let me and doesn’t let go until now. Then I dramatically lost weight, started Smoking, drinking, lost nights, always hanging around guys who I thought only wanted sex. I ceased to understand the relationships and just don’t let guys close.
Perhaps this is why I married a man older than me by 10 years. Sometimes I regret it, because you can choose age, if I just behaved differently. And now the situation repeated! At some point I lost the life of his family. It’s very obvious: not enough attention, are unable to cope with the children, too hard work. Was a strong resentment at her husband. When asked her husband to embrace, to regret, to understand – came across a misunderstanding. Too many nights spent waiting for simple female happiness. The sex was 1-2 times a week and that I was offended. At that moment, I allowed to enter my life to him. Why? She still does not understand. We work together, everyone knows him as annoying and a drink, man. In appearance and character exactly like me and all others too. Still revolve around men and I could choose pretty, but looks aren’t everything.
As I saw him as a man as it seemed to me gentle and tender. He got it into his head that he’s different. And he spoke a lot of words I wanted to hear from her husband. Every meeting we was drinking and it came down to the fact that I consciously had sex with him in his apartment while his wife and children were away. For this step I took a long time, each time asking the question do I need all this. By the way, Yes, it was all drunk.
Clarify that to my husband, I didn’t have anyone. Everything is relative, my husband’s is more suitable in terms of sex and I wouldn’t want to lose him. However, I can’t let go of the lover, awakened a feeling of possessiveness. Very affectionate by the way of the men it turned into just needing sex gigolo. The alcohol was mainly at my expense. And today he hurt me when I refused him. I really needed to go. Said a lot of rude words, he sent for the Mat that we are the fuckups break and while you have to get naked and enjoy. I just silently listened to all this. What happened in the shower at the moment just can not describe, I didn’t have a face.
It turns out him I just wanted sex and alcohol. Refused – piss off you then. I know that a very bad thing. By nature I’m very close to the heart perceive. I’m impatient and the whole situation I can always perceive differently. Besides, I never loved a man, I merge several feelings: hatred and tenderness. Interest in men arises when I move away. So can I now in this situation also, the first to start a conversation, though I know the remorse in his eyes, I will not see. As all this is now to let go? How to forget everything? How to behave at work? I’m afraid that once again everyone will know. Really hate myself and now have to do something.
I saw in him a man with heart and soul? Trampled. I’d love you to help me, the words of the fool I have heard.